As a programmer:
As a human:
My experiences as a programmer ought to lead me to interactions with others where my default position is not that they are in the wrong, but that I am. Why? Because I know how fallible I am. I make mistakes all the time. We’ve all met people who blame everyone and everything around them for their misfortune. Perhaps that may be true, but we should always return to the circles of blame. These circles of blame are also circles of influence. The further from the first circle you move, the less influence you can exert. You can exert a lot of influence over yourself, less with those you know, and practically none as you move out to the public and society as a whole. Yes, those circles can be influenced, but they won’t be influenced by someone who hasn’t proved that the first circle, I, or you, haven’t shown that they are clear headed and thoughtful about why the problem exists. This is the entire purpose of Jesus’ admonition, “You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.” Jesus’ words here are clearly about the fact that unless you understood your own circle of blame first, something you have the most understanding of, how could you possibly judge someone else’s fault, about which you know little? Implicit in this admonition is how the hearer will receive the message from the hypocrite. “This person always looks to others to find fault, yet never finds it in himself. Why listen to them?” On the other hand, if we develop a reputation for serious self-reflection, and an instinct to look first to ourselves for improvement and correction, then when we approach someone else about some fault they have that is affecting us, they will (should) take this admonishment with all seriousness. This will especially be taken seriously if we approach them with a spirit of humility: “These are the possible ways that I have considered that I may be in the wrong about this. This is what I am seeing, but I am always open to correction in case the fault may lie with me.”
To stop failing, admit you are failing. If you are not willing to humbly admit where the fault may lie, you can not start taking meaningful steps to begin correcting your failure. Now, back to fixing this bug I created.